the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
