if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
only if we run a train.
done.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
