Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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