I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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