Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
