She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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