Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
