I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
