You can't special order awesome
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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