just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
