Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
