just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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