The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
