shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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