I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Text me some of your sweat
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
