You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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