How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
