You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
