am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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