new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
