K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
