We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
