totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
