I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
