Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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