All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
