My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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