I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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