So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
