I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
