fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
