Ambien. No doubt about it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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