It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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