no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
