Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
