Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
