My underwear smells like fireworks.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
