he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
