so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
