Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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