I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
