he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
