My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
