Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
