Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
