you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
