you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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