Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Dear god my vagina.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
