xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
