wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
