ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
