Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
