oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
